1st ACT: UWIAN
It is a bad cloudy day. No chance for the sun to peek in, but it is OK. I have my sweater, but obviously not enough for this dark cloud that soon will give me a mess. Everyone wants to go home in this early afternoon. I am standing here in the front door of the building, passes me by the students running out. I need to go home before the rain starts. The wind blow swiftly into my body. It is cold.
I am thinking right now while I am walking if all of these people are really people. Maybe, yes. The girl walk beside me is so pretty but she's thinking of something that makes her face so annoying. A group of friends next to me are chatting about a place to hang-out, and I guess soon they will going to quarrel. Two guys in front of me are laughing in their own corny jokes. What is going on to the world? Well, me? I am just hanging around to where my feet will bring me. I am afraid to laugh or to search for something or to think deeply. It is better for me to walk in silence alone with these noisy mob under the dark angry sky.
Leaves from the trees are falling down in the ground. Twigs are everywhere that every step of my foot on it makes a crunchy sound. I am still walking in the pathway going out of the campus. The sky is darker now than before, and the wind blows more rapidly and colder. I am now an inch closer to the school gate. I can see the bus stop from here and I just need to walk 6 meter to get there.
The lightning strikes and the thunder roars. I feel the rain starts to kiss my face. Other students behind shove me forward to run into the bus stop. At this moment, I feel like the rain stops because I do not feel it anymore touching my face. But it is just because of an umbrella covering me from the rain.
2nd ACT: YAYAAN
She is standing beside me holding a red umbrella. Bakit malalim yata ang iniisip mo? OK ka lang? I looked at her and answered her questions. Oo. OK lang ako. Medyo inaantok lang siguro ako dahil sa malamig na panahon. Akala ko tuluyan na akong mababasa ng ulan. Loko yung mga tumulak sa akin.
E ikaw naman kasi, ang bagal mong maglakad! Alam mo namang uulan na, nagro-rosary ka pa diyan. I did not answered her query. I get the umbrella on her hand. Ako na ang hahawak, mas matangkad ako sa iyo, nahihirapan ako sa iyo e. I make sure that she will never get wet while we are walking towards to the bus stop. Uuwi ka na? She asked. Ewan ko. Siguro. Ikaw ba? She suddenly stopped. Kain tayo. She said. OK. Sige.
We walk 20 meters from the bus stop to a food resto. The rain pours down heavier than before. It makes the road floody and the soil gets muddy. My back is totally wet. I saw that the other students are leaping. I noticed that we have to jumped into the flooded part of the road. I asked her if she could leap herself. Oo naman kaya ko. And so I gave to her the umbrella and jumped first before her, and then she followed. Oops... nabasa ka na din tuloy. Akina ang payong.
Hindi naman ako masyadong nabasa e. Ikaw nga diyan ang basang-basa. Baka magkasakit ka niyan. Does she cares about me? But why? Huwag ka mag-alala, matutuyo din ito mamaya. Tara! I am thinking what to say to her while we are walking. She never talks about her life to me. Other than the school activities, I can not think other things to say to her. Dito na tayo dumaan. She walked towards to the main entrance. Ang lamig! May heater kaya sila sa loob? I am just kidding, just to say something. Nagpapatawa ka ba? She asked me in a serious tone. I just smiled at her, wondering what she is thinking of. And she walks on.
3rd ACT: SA COUNTER
I fold the umbrella while we are entering the food resto. Saan tayo? I asked her where to sit. Doon na lang tayo. She pointed an empty table with two chairs in the southern wing. I walk behind her while looking to the other people eating their meals. I am searching if there is anyone we know that is eating here at this moment of time. None of them is familiar to me. Sino hinahanap mo? She observed that I am looking around. Ah, wala. Baka lang kasi may kilala tayo dito. She nodded to my answer.
Ano o-orderin mo? Looking at her while waiting for her answer. Still standing and asking myself if I will pay her meals. Why not? Ako na ang bibili nang sa akin. Sabay na lang tayo. She smiled at me. I do not know what to say. It feels like there is an electric current flows down into my body. Maybe I am only hungry.
The wind is still restless and I can not see almost the parking lot outside because of the mist. Ang lakas ng ulan. She suddenly gazed at me as I said that. Bakit? I want to know why she look at me. Wala lang. She is unpredictable. Umorder ka na nga. I am now pushing her to the counter. Sandali lang, hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang kakainin ko. Why does the girls need to think an hour before they decide what to wear, what to do, what to eat? Ako na ang mauna sa iyo. Tagal mo e. Hmmm... I am really hungry. Miss, isang large iced tea, burger with cheese and spaghettie. Tyaka french fries na din, large! That is enough for me. Is she done of thinking what to eat? Ano, may naisip ka na bang kainin? She just nodded at me. Doon na lang kita hihintayin. Humahaba na ang pila, pampadagdag lang ako dito.
Sige, hintayin mo na lang ako doon. Gutom ka na yata e. Staring at her eyes gives me an uncomfortable feeling. It is better for me to walk on and sit without saying anything to her. What do I need to say? to act? to think? I am running out of words... of movements... of ideas. And this is a very abnormal situation that I can not escape. Bad part is that... I am thinking all of these right now.
4th ACT: KAIN
She is on her way back here with her tray. I must say that she is a common type of girl, but not an ordinary kind. Hinintay mo pa talaga ako. Akala ko kumain ka na. I only watch her while she is eating. She noticed that. She suddenly stop eating her meal and said, OK ka lang? Bangag ka na naman! Bakit hindi ka kumakain? I smiled but I am not paying attention to what she had said. I need to eat now before my stomach knock me out. I can not resist to devour it. Hindi ka naman masyadong gutom niyan?
Hindi naman masyado. Where is the napkin? There you are! Ano oras ka uuwi? That is the only question pop-out into my mind. Pag medyo humina na ang ulan. Ikaw, paano ka uuwi? I do not want to think that she is now more concern about me, she is just asking. Kaya ko na sarili ko. Ako bahala, makakauwi din ako. What I am going to do to get home? It is now pass 5pm and it is getting darker outside.
Sigurado ka? Makakauwi ka? Mababasa ka lang.
No choice. May pasok pa tayo bukas kailangan natin makauwi. Hintayin ko na lang sigurong huminto.
Pero mag-ga-gabi na. Sumabay ka na lang sa akin para mapayungan ka din.
Pati ikaw mababasa. Mauna ka na mamayang umuwi. Hindi tayo kasya sa payong.
I see her face a lot of expressions. I do not know what to think about it. Her voice once again appear in the silence of the rain, but now, she is crying silently. May nangyari ba? That is definitely a bad question! She wiped her tears and said, Wala naman. May naalala lang ako. It is not convincing my dear. Hindi nga. Bakit? I let her to pause for awhile. I offer her to drink her cola but she refuse. Tingin mo ba mahina ako?
5th ACT: DISCUSSION
What a question! She thinks that she is weak. Bakit mo naitanong? Hindi ka naman mahina. Ang dami mo ngang nagagawa e. Does it sounds convincing? Well, I hope! Pasensya na, may naalala lang ako. So that is it? Maybe she will tell me soon what about it. I will wait. She is wiping out her tears without saying anything.
I can not breathe in this silence, she is not willing to tell me what is going on to her. I am still waiting for her to talk while I am looking out in the rain. I need some air to fill me in, we are so damn quiet. Hmm... Let me give her some more time to think what she is going to say. Maybe she is preparing to share to me what is the problem. If there is a possible way I can help her, I will not waste my time to lend every effort I can make for her. I do not know where these thinkings coming from, but I am pretty sure to all of these.
It is now quarter to six in the evening. I give up on waiting. I will ask her whatever comes out into my mind. Pag umuulan ba, umiiyak din ang langit? I see her face surprised on my query. Hindi. Wala namang pakiramdam ang langit para umiyak. I feel that she is fine right now. E di kung wala siyang pakiramdam palagay ko destiny na nang ulan na bumagsak mula sa langit. Her dejected face awhile ago is now brighter and I can see that she is ready to fight for her ideas.
Phenomena iyan, kaya umuulan.
Paanong phenomena? May kakaiba ba sa pag-ulan?
Ang phenomena, walang buhay. Ginawa siya, kasi may kailangan siyang gampanan sa mundo. Tulad ng ulan. Remember the cycle?
Alam ko iyon. Evaporation, condensation, filtration... blah... blah... blah... at masasabi kong destiny pa din ng ulan iyon. Sige nga, para sa iyo, ano difference ng true love at destiny?
For me? True love for me... kahit sobrang sakit na nang mga pangyayari e mahal mo pa din yung tao. Na hindi ka tumitingin sa mga pagkakamali. Destiny? parang pilit kasi kapag ganoon.
E di somehow, may true love din pala sa bawat patak ng ulan.
Paano naman napasok ang true love sa ulan?
Kasi sabi mo kahit masakit ang nangyayari ay mahal mo pa din ito. Ang ulan kahit puro pasakit na baha at karamdaman ang binibigay sa atin ay mahal pa din natin ito. Hindi tayo tumitingin sa pagkakamaling binibigay nito, kasi may buti din naman itong dulot.
Siguro nga. What is that answer? I grope for her facial expression to see if I convinced her to what I am saying. Siguro masarap maging ulan. I never thought that she will going to say that. She is looking out in the rain. She is so beautiful in my eyes.
6th ACT: IDEYA
Paano mo naman nasabi yun?
Para kasing lahat ng bagay na mapatakan ng ulan ay napupuno ng kaligayahan.
Ewan ko, may iba kasing ayaw ng ulan. Nakakalungkot daw. Ikaw sa tingin mo?
Obvious naman na gusto ko ang ulan. Para sa aming mga babae hindi mahalaga kung ano ang maibibigay nang isang tao. Ang kailangan namin sa buhay ay yung mga taong totoo sa kanilang sarili. Tulad ng ulan, may katotohanang hatid ang bawat patak niya.
Paano yun?
Simple lang. Pag malakas ang ulan hindi mo ito mapipigilan o mapapahina. Kumbaga sa tao, yun ang kanyang damdamin. Makikita mo agad sa ulan kung malakas ba ang bagsak o ambon lang. Hindi siya naglilihim o nagpapaka-plastic.
How I wish to be a rain, but it is so impossible to happen. I can not speak up again. Her last words tied up my tongue. She hits directly my heart deeply. I need to think something to say. It is better that she would not see me in this kind of behaviour. I do not want her to think so much in life. She is a wonderful living thing that needs to take care. And all I can give to her is my service to be with her whenever she needs me. I hope I can give more than this to her. Yes, I am certainly in love with her.
7th ACT: PAGLISAN
Mahirap din maging ulan. Dahil umikot lang siya sa isang cycle. Pabalik-balik. Paulit-ulit. Pero sabi ko nga, tadhana na niya iyon. Naiinis tayo at the same time minamahal din natin ang ulan sa madaming paraan. Words of wisdom from me! But even me surprisingly do not know these words. It goes out naturally into my mind... word by word. Napaka makahulugan naman nang sinabi mo. Hindi ko ma-reach! She suddenly paused, and took a deep breathe.
Writing this story in my memory, somehow, gives me the credit to do what can I do. And the guts to tell her the feeling that I have for her. Oh! No, I can not say that to her. Anyway, this is not yet the end of what is happening today. We are just resting for a moment and sipping our drinks. Hindi pa rin humihina ang ulan.
Oo nga. Umuwi ka na kaya. May payong ka naman e. Huwag ka na ulit iiyak ha? Just to tease her crying moment. Promise hindi na ako iiyak nang dahil sa kung sino lang diyan. Paano ka uuwi? Her first statement give me an idea the reason why she cried. Promise mo yan! Tatakbo na lang ako patawid. May shed naman doon e. Tyaka hindi din naman natuyo ang uniform ko kaya OK lang.
She is now preparing herself to leave. As I watch her, she stopped for a moment. Bakit? I am still looking at her while picking up the umbrella at my side. Payong mo, baka makalimutan mo. She stand and set herself. Imposibleng makalimutan ko 'yan. Tara na! Sabay na tayong lumabas. Too bad. I need to ready myself to get wet. As we walk now towards the door, I see her smiling face next to me. So good to know that I can make her smile.
8th ACT: PAGHIHIWALAY
The wind is at rest right now, however, the rain is still the same with thunders and lightnings. She is now beside me. I am thinking if she feels the heartbeat in my chest. Definitely--- not. Few steps from where we are I can see the main road. I suggest to stop this annoying idea of falling in love.
Kaya mo ba makauwi? Huy! Tulala ka diyan? Ayos ka lang ba, ano ba nangyayari sa'yo?
Ha!? Ah, wala. Tatawid na ako para makasakay. Sumakay ka na.
Are you sure? Hindi ako uuwi kung di ka OK.
OK lang ako.
Silent appears for a moment. Why I can not resist to stare at her? She is my crush long before we became friends. Almost 5'6 in height, long hair, taming oval face, red cheeks, angular nose, not so thin lips, and slimmy. When I first saw her, I knew it, she is going to be a special person in my life. Anyway, back to reality. We are now standing in the left side of the main entrance where the jeepney stops in its loading bay. The rain is still pouring and I wish this rain will stop as soon as she gets into the jeep, so that I can...
Salamat sa oras. Alam ko madami ka iniisip pero lagi mo pa din akong sinasamahan.
Sus. La yun! Lakas ka sa akin e! Ahm...
Bakit?
My heartbeat gets faster. After she interrupted what I am telling into my mind awhile ago because of thanking me, I can not find again the right words to continue what I am saying And now, she is cornering me, asking why. I need to escape!
Uwi na ako.
Pero sobrang lakas pa nang ulan.
I need to run in the rain. There is no other way out. My stupidity kills me right now. I do not know what to do. I will run now. TEKA!!! She hold my arms. She is now wet, as well as me. Bakit ka sumunod? Nabasa ka na din tuloy! She is very unpredictable. I need to bring her back to the shed. I am pulling her now, but she never move. Bakit ka biglang tumakbo? She is asking me again and I feel nervous. Uuwi na kasi ako. I am pulling her again so that we can talk in the shed, but she refuse. Sana naging ulan ka na lang. Why did she said that? I do not know what I am going to do. She is now getting into the jeep. Is she mad at me? I am still standing in the rain while waiting the jeep to go. I feel bad to what happen. Now that she is on the jeep, I need to go home.
Text mo ako pag nakauwi ka na. She is talking to me while she is in the jeep, not so far from me, but she's not looking at me. Sumakay ka na din. Keep safe!
Now, I am riding in the jeep... thinking of what happened awhile ago... I will now take a nap... rest.
